Here Goes Nothing...

It's late and I've had a lot on my mind and it's time for me to come clean...this post is mainly to my family. I've been unemployed since the week of Thanksgiving and have been struggling to find work since then. It's tough to find work here and its been nothing but drama since I've moved up here my first roomate whom I thought was a friend up and left the apartment without paying rent. cant seem to find a decent roomate. I can't find work and I got a ticket for something back in september and turns out my license was suspended (I found that out when I got pulled over for a tail light that went out). Not to mention the car damages first my trunk got smashed which is going to be worked on soon and then I slid on ice and it turns out I ruined a strut...itis safe to say I'm struggling financially, emotionally and spirtually. I'm so sorry you guys had to find out this way, I just couldn't hold it together anymore. You guys mean so much to me words can't even describe it. I didn't tell you guys what was going on because I feel like I always let you down, I feel like a disappointment. I really am trying to stay positive but times are tough right now..I've been receiving help from my bishop here with rent and stuff like that and have been working on going to church regularly but what I really need right now is my family. I hope you guys can forgive me...I love you

Curent Events

So time to keep everybody up to ate on everything that has been going on in my life so far! Ok well sme good news on the job front. I was offered a babysitting job from this girl I know, her name's Anya. I am supposed to start babysitting her little 3 month old baby and he is so stinking cute! Right now I'm just waiting to hear back from her so I kno when to start. Apparently her husband is looking for a place to live...so this job could possibly fall through. :( But I do have a back up plan! If the job does fall through then I can get work for sure over at D.I I'm meeting with Bisop Powell tomorrow to fill out the paper work, bu I will be put on a waiting list and I'm not positive how long I'll be waiting to start work. =/ It's still work though so t's worth the wait! =D More good news I recently got in tough with one of my old ex/friend. I haven't seen or heard from him since 9th grade! O.o Ha ha I'm planning on taking a mini vacation to Lake Havasu, Arizona in a week or two. Hopefully I'll get to see my Uncle RIck when I get there! =) I'm just not sure if he will though. Other than that nothing else is new I love you guys av a great Thanksgiving!

Masquerade Ball

I am so unbelievably excited for this weekend! Since I can remeber I have always wanted to go to a masquered ball or at least attempt to throw one myself.Well this saturday I'm getting my chance and I'm going to a masquerade ball this saturday! My outfit is a long flowy skirt that's a berry kind of color (it almost looks burgandy but not nearly as dark) and the top is a black textured strapless. And I absolutely love the mask I got! Its got a black lace look to it and it has gold as well for the coloring. The ball starts at 9 pm and goes until 1 am so it will be a long night. But so worth it! Oh and bonus the university apealled my financial aid so I should be able to get help for school! Today has been such an amazing day you have no idea! Now only if I could find a job then I would be golden lol! =D

Wild Thing!

So at midnight this morning (?) I went and saw Where the Wild Things are with my friend Jeff. I have to confess I have never ever read that book and was kind of skeptical about seeing the movie, I mean it looked like it would just big a gigantic snooze fest! But it was way cute and I absolutely loved it and I am going to buy it when comes out on dvd! =) I highly recommend seeing it it's a cute, fun movie that the whole family can enjoy! Since I'm here already I might as well keep you guys up to date on what's been going on. Well for starters I am still jobless :( but on the 19th and 20th In N Out is holding interviews. So I might be able to get a job finally! On a good note Dr. Manley's letter finally came in for me and I got all of my paper work in to the financial aide office at the college. I have to go in tuesday afternoon to see if they will appeal my case and reconsider me for financial aide. So wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed! I know I am! Anyway I am off to bed, will keep you guys posted. Love you guys! ^_^

Just Don't Know What to Do Anymore! >.>

Okay so I didn't get the job at the new pizza cafe that's opening up here soon. I am so frustrated with the job market here in Provo its ridiculous and impossible to find a job! No matter how hard of a worker I am, no matter how much work experience or how hard I try looking for a job I never have any luck! Sometimes its extremely difficult for me to stay positive and optimistic about things lately and its really depressing and I miss my family so that makes me even more sad. And I might not be able to go home for the holidays because I don't have the money to visit. :( But on the positive side the district manager at the new pizza cafe said to come in during the middle of the week and see whats going on. He has a feeling a lot of people might not even show up for work or orientation. So I might possibly still get the job. Is it wrong for me to hope that people don't show up? And I'm applying at a place called Primerica they sell insurance, Rett my step-dad is very skeptical about it and says that they are a multi-level scam. So I'm still not sure about this decision, I mean they seemed pretty legitimate when I went in there today. But you never know these days. I'm just at the point that I'm willing to try just about anything so that I have some money coming in. What do you guys think? Just give me your honest opinion! Love you guys I miss you all! =)

Bleh

Nothing new to report. Went to the mall today and picked up some applications, going to turn them in tomorrow. Hopefully something will turn up! I'm sure if I'm persistent, stay positive, and keep trying that I'll eventually find a job. =) However I didn't get the job at Macey's so I'm kind of bummed about that. =( But life goes on and the manager at Macey's said she will have another posistion avaible sometime soon for me! So who know maybe this other posistion will be better than the previous one offered? Still getting stuff together for school. I'm getting anxious I just want school to start already!

Granny Buchanan

Last night I got a call from my dad that my Great-Grandma Buchanan has passed away. I loved her very much even though I didn't get to see her often. right now I feel a little guilty for not be so sad over her death. Yes I loved her but I was never really around her, I didn't grow up with her. Does this make me a bad person for not feeling more sad about this? She was 90 years old and had pancreatic cancer, she was a diabetic as well. At least right now she is in a better place and is no longer suffering. At the moment I'm more worried about my dad and Grandma Seay I can't imagine what they're going through. This is all that I have to say for right now. Good-bye Granny you will always be missed and we will love you always!